February 2012
The struggle and desire to know everything, understand everything, remember everything and apply everything and say it like it’s ABC =(
Oh Allah, I feel so tired, but I make dua. I open my eyes. Oh Allah, I feel so dirty, but I repent to You. I am cleansed. Oh Allah, I feel so depressed, but I remember you. I am at peace. Oh Allah, I feel so lost, but I follow Your Commands. I am safe. Oh Allah, nobody listens, but You never turn your back on me. I am grateful. Oh Allah, I cry every night, but I make wudu. I wash away my tears. Oh...
Why should anyone, let go of their dreams, or their ambitions, for love?
Me: “I think he’s really cute. You know him right?” Him: “I do. But I think I’m cuter”
He who shall not be named -_-‘
When Arafat Azwar burst your bubbles and destroyed your hopes and expectations when you told him someone is cute and he straight away said that the guy is not straight.
And you actually believe him.
That fellow agong scholar who slept at 5.30am after reading a case study while you on the other hand, happily drifting away in your sleep on her bed, after having studied nothing for the night.
How do I cope with that?
Most of them undergoing MSc Actuarial Management are with first class degrees in Actuarial Science. But they’ve got experience in the industry as well.
How do I compete with that?
Imagine if you can be someone else and not be you at the moment, won’t life be more toned down? More liveable. More enjoyable. As if you can breathe without other people expecting anything off you. Like you walk on this earth without having eyes looking your way. If you can wish for one thing, in this very moment, what will you wish for?
I wish that I’m not Abir.
